Cliffhanger

So I made a deal with my 6th graders: if everyone scored above 90% on their homework, I would not assign homework tonight.  When the class discovered that just one girl let the class down with an 88% (don't worry, she could handle it), one of the boys turned to her and said:

Boy: "Now I have confirmed my plan to throw you off a cliff!"

Girl: "Um, you never had that plan, and we don't have a cliff."

Drawing out the Irony

In the midst of a discussion with 7th graders about the fallacy of Irrelevant Thesis:

Me: "So, now that we've defined this fallacy, let me give you some examples. (noticing that a student in the front row is doodling) Jay, this is not the time to be drawing."

Jay: "But it's fun!"

Me: (with a joyful excitement that I'm sure confused Jay) "Um, I can't really come up with any example that's better than that!"

Jay and classmates: " . . . "

Only in Buckhead

7th grader: "Mr. Faulkner, I'm sorry, but my homework was run over by a Range Rover."

Bartender, I think I'll have another . . .

"Well, I had four rounds of coke at a sports bar with my dad."

- 8th grader, on why he stayed up until 2 a.m. Saturday night.