Mythical confusion

student: Is this project about real dragons or fake dragons?
me: real dragons.

Dinner Party

"Who's Gusto?"
- second grade response to, "They feasted with gusto."

Name that Tune

"I'm not sure that there's anything worse than someone who is simultaneously:

1) bad, and
2) passionate

about the trumpet."

Artistic Advice

Earnest 4-Year-Old Art Student: "Can I tell you all about paintbrushes?"
Impressed Art Teacher: "Please."
Earnest 4-Year-Old Art Student: "Don't stick paintbrushes up your nose."

Nine Irons

"Yes you do.  They just don't look skinny on you."

- 7th grade girl to Scruff, after he said that he didn't own any "skinny jeans"

Dos chalupas, por favor

Me: "My brother has an interview entirely in Spanish today! Wish him luck!"

Student (in a condescending voice): "Where is he interviewing? Taco Bell?"

70% Chance of Perspiration

"Precipitation is rain, not sweat, right?" 


- 6th grader to his classmate while working on an earth science assignment

The Mark of the Beast, Part II

In an attempt to solve the previously posted dilemma, we head to the AT&T store in search of a better option.

AT&T worker: "You aren't due for an upgrade yet, so what we can do for you is take the $99 iPhone price and add $200."

girl in need of phone: "So, I would pay $299 for the phone?"

AT&T: "Yep."

girl: "That's more than the retail price of the phone at the Apple store. It's $199 off the shelf."

AT&T: "Yep"

girl: "Then I will probably go there and buy that phone."

AT&T: "Yeah, that's probably a better deal."

The Mark of the Beast

"We can offer you an Out of Warranty Replacement for $199."

- The answer received by Apple salesperson when trying to get help with broken iPhone.